Are You Showing Up to Prom Without a Date?

By Phil Shahbaz, Pastor of Community Life 

Prior to our time at LBF, and prior to having four kids at the same time, my wife and I attended a fantastic church in the Los Angeles area. This church is renowned for its incredible worship, its grace-centered approach to teaching, and its wonderfully service-centered approach to the community.

We came and went to this church every Sunday for five years. In five years, we did not create one new relationship with anybody at the church. At the time, it was frustrating. Personally, I always felt like I was showing up to prom every Sunday without a date. I was confused as to why so many folks at the church seemed so close to one another. Looking back, I now understand that it wasn’t the church’s fault; it was ours. Outside of Sunday service, we were not involved at all. Specifically, we simply decided that we didn’t have time to join a small group. As a result, we had no interaction with anyone at the church. It’s difficult to make friends when you simply show up on Sunday, listen, and leave.

What I didn’t understand at the time was that joining a small group at a church is one of the primary reasons people create relationships, stay connected to their church, enjoy their church, and grow spiritually. Sure, there are other ways to feel satisfied with your church experience outside of joining a small group, but you can pick any church in the country that you would consider healthy and behind it you will likely find a small group program that is thriving.

In August, LBF announced its new mission statement: “We exist to passionately pursue LIFE in Jesus and lead our neighbors to do the same.” As part of this new mission, we also announced that our efforts would be focused on three primary areas: learning the Bible, LIFE Groups, and service. LIFE Groups – it’s what LBF now refers to as our small group program. Our LIFE Group program is designed so that each of us can learn God’s word on Sunday, then continue to explore and discuss what we learned from Sunday’s message with a small group of people.

Our hope is that when we gather together with our small group, we are able to practice giving and receiving grace to one another (2 Corinthians 13-14), giving and receiving mercy to one another (1 Timothy 1:16), and giving and receiving compassion to one another (Ephesians 4:32). If we can reflect Christ to one another through grace, mercy, and compassion, we are able to create a safe environment that allows us to confess our sins and burdens to one another (James 5:16). Ultimately, we are able to live LIFE together as part of authentic Christian community.

No one knows the value of the LIFE Group more then Larry Osborne, lead pastor at North Coast Church in San Diego. In his book, Sticky Church, he writes, “The ultimate goal of a sermon-based small group is simply to Velcro people to the two things they will need most when faced with a need-to-know or need-to-grow situation: the Bible and other Christians” (p. 43). Pastor Osborne reminds us that the weekly small group encourages us to keep the Bible as our foundation and other Christians as our support – authentic Christian community. It’s important to note that close to 6,000 people attend Pastor Osborne’s church. Eighty percent of those who attend, participate in a life group.

At LBF, we have roughly 533 individuals participating in the LIFE Group program. Out of these 533 individuals, some are involved in more than one group (although we have not compiled the exact data). These 533 individuals participate in the LBF LIFE Group program as part of 44 individual groups. Of these 44 groups, 26 are traditional LIFE Groups hosted at a home, seven are women’s groups, four are specialty groups, four are support groups, and three are men’s groups. Not all of these groups use our message-based curriculum, but most do. Altogether, roughly half of the adults (or more) that attend Sunday morning services at LBF are involved in a small group Bible study as part of the LIFE Group program at LBF.

These numbers are profoundly encouraging! They are not North Coast numbers, but we are not trying to be like North Coast. We are Life Bible Fellowship Church. In addition to our LIFE Group program, we participate through dozens of other programs and events such as the Harvest Party, Thanksgiving Serve, the Car Show, and men’s and women’s retreats, to name a few. We are the kind of church that gives more than 400 turkeys when the goal is 400. We are truly an active participant in God’s Kingdom.

Yet as we participate, we want to focus more on Jesus himself. We want to realize our focus by studying God’s word on Sunday, reflecting on God’s word as part of a LIFE Group, and serving our community. In December, we are beginning LIFE Group sign-ups for the winter quarter. We will have several new groups in addition to some openings in our existing groups. If you are already involved, our hope is that you will encourage others to get involved. If you are not yet involved, our hope is that you will give it a shot.

My wife and I didn’t give it a shot at our old church, but we did at LBF. Our LIFE Group has not only helped us create new friendships, but it has been an incredible source of encouragement and support in our lives. And when I go to church on Sunday, I feel like I finally have a date to prom.

Don’t show up to the prom without a date. Go to lbfchurch.com to sign up for a group.