Sex permeates our culture. It shows up in advertising, on TV shows, in the lyrics of mainstream songs, on the Internet, in locker room conversations, and in women’s magazines. Our culture has become entirely casual about the subject of sex. It is no big deal to talk about it, and it is no big deal if everyone is experiencing it. Sex outside of marriage is no big deal, pornography is no big deal, and one-night stands are no big deal. Sex in our culture is casual and personal. Our bodies, our choices, our business.
Sex is so casual in our culture that it is a topic of conversation just about everywhere. Except church.
Somehow it seems impolite or inappropriate for Christians to talk about sex. Perhaps we avoid it because we think that if we talk about it, then people will think about it. And if people think about it, then they will be more likely to want to do it. This might be fine for married couples, but we know that the biblical ethic is that sex is reserved for marriage. So our solution is to talk about it less.
The solution, however, is not working. From this past year, statistics showed that only 3% of Americans wait until they are married to engage in sexual intercourse. The statistics are better amongst evangelical Christians, but it is still only around 20%.
And the problems don’t stop once couples marry. Past sexual experiences cause strain in marriages, and sexual problems are almost near the top of reasons why couples seek either counseling or divorce. The path toward embracing the biblical sex ethic is clearly not the path of avoiding the conversation.
While many Christians and churches may avoid talking about sex, God does not.
In the Bible, sex is not something casual, but it is also not something dirty. It is a gift from God, and He has no problem talking to us about it. In the opening chapters of the Bible, He talks about the man and the woman becoming one flesh. The subject comes up in some way throughout almost every book of both the Old and the New Testament. And then there is one book that focuses on and celebrates God’s gracious gift of sexuality. That book is Song of Songs.
The Song of Songs (sometimes called the Song of Solomon) is not a sex manual. In fact, the Bible almost never serves as a manual to give us step-by-step instructions. Rather, the Song of Songs is a lyrical celebration of what romantic and sexual love can look like when it is embraced by a husband and a wife. For those of us who are married, it joyfully invites us into an intimacy that will bring couples together. For those of us who are single, it beautifully paints a picture of what can be experienced if we wait until the proper time to express the sexuality God has given us.
If we act as if sex is either dirty or casual, we miss out on what God is offering through the Song of Songs.
During the months of February and March, we will study through the Song of Songs at Life Bible Fellowship Church. Instead of avoiding a subject that God doesn’t avoid, we want to dive into this beautiful and mystifying book. It will be challenging, it will be confusing at times, and in the end it will be life-giving. After all, everything in the Bible, including these intimate passages about human love and sexuality, point us toward the intimacy that God desires with us, His people. And there is no greater joy than experiencing God’s life-giving presence in our lives.
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