Responding to Same-Sex Marriage

By Dan Franklin, Pastor of Teaching 

In the aftermath of the Supreme Court striking down DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act), same-sex marriage now appears to be on its way to full acceptance in the United States. Many of us feel conflicted or confused about how to respond to this. Many of us believe that the Bible teaches that homosexual activity is sinful, and we treasure the beauty and purity of marriage between a man and a woman. At the same time, we want to show love and compassion to others, and we are hesitant about the role of politics in the Christian life.

This brief article will by no means cover everything that can be said on this subject. Much has been said and there is much to say, but this article will present three core statements about how Christians are called to think and act in light of this significant issue facing our nation. It covers three things that Christians must do if we are to respond in a way that will truly allow us to be witnesses of Jesus in our world.

1. We must not adopt an attitude of entitlement when our society opposes God’s ways. 

First Peter 4:12-13 says, “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” Jesus himself said in John 15:18-19, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world. That is why the world hates you.”

When our society takes steps away from God’s revealed ways, this should grieve us. It should concern us. But it should not surprise us. We have been warned that we are outsiders in this world and that we await Jesus’ return to reclaim and renew the earth.

Until then, we live as witnesses to a world that desperately needs Jesus. We reach out to unbelievers with compassion and concern. Our goal is not to fight against the world, but to see the world saved through Jesus.

Again, this does not mean that bad decisions made by our society should not concern us. They should concern us greatly. But we must not adopt an attitude that Christians should have a favored status in society. Jesus was opposed and marginalized, and we should not act indignant if we get the same treatment. While the world’s rejection of Christ is a great tragedy, the Christian hope of final victory and redemption is never threatened by the decisions and behaviors of our culture.

2. We must be ready for religious liberty to be threatened in greater ways. 

Don’t be surprised, but get ready. Does our country’s acceptance of same-sex marriage signal the end of society as we know it? No, it doesn’t. But this does not mean that it is insignificant. Many questions are raised: How will this impact how homosexuality is talked about in our schools? Will this lead to litigation against churches that refuse to host or officiate gay weddings? How will this impact adoption?

The questions and concerns are very real. There are certainly people who are overreacting, but there are also people who are undervaluing the pervasive impact that this decision can have on our society. Certain conscious issues that have been protected by the religious liberty we enjoy in the U.S. could end up being threatened.

As Christians we must walk the line between being alarmists and being passive. Our society’s endorsement of same-sex marriage does matter. It does confuse the meaning of marriage, the meaning of gender, and the nature of family. And religious liberty does matter. While God works good through the trials that His people face, the trials themselves are not good. If we are able to protect our religious liberty, then we should. But we must be prepared for the fact that liberties we have taken for granted may be fleeting.

3. We must focus not on protecting ourselves, but on loving our neighbors. 

In times of opposition, it can be easy for us to adopt a self-protective posture, but we must remember that our ultimate goal as Christians is not to protect our own “rights” or comforts. Sure, we want to avoid difficulties, but we are not called to fight for the goal of preserving our way of life. Instead we are called to fight for the good of our neighbor.

Christian morality, led by the Spirit in response to the gospel of Jesus, is summed up in one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Some would say, then, that we should let anyone marry the person they love because we are called to love others. We must remember that the real biblical love looks out for the ultimate good of the other person. If we truly believe what God’s Word says about our sexuality and about marriage, then same-sex marriage is not in the best interest of any of our neighbors. It might feel good to them in the short-term, but it will have painful and confusing consequences in the long-run.

Again, our goal must not be self-protection, but instead must be love of our neighbor. This is why adoption laws should matter to us. If orphans are our neighbors, and if we want to love our neighbors, and if we believe that the best thing for our neighbors is to be raised by a loving father and mother, then this will have an impact on our activities. The same can be said when it comes to issues like education and religious liberty. Certain things are good for our society because they are good for people (our neighbors). While certain Christian stances will be counter-cultural no matter how we express them, I think most people notice a difference between a demeanor that is self-protective and a demeanor that is filled when genuine concern and empathy. The more that Christians properly express love for our neighbors, the more we will be pointing people to Jesus, who has their ultimate good in mind.

God will call us to respond to current events in different ways. God will call some of us to become involved in education. He will call some of us to adoption. He will call some of us to legislation. Whatever our calling, we must remember that we are called to proceed in hope (because God is not going to be defeated by anyone!), in humility (because Christians don’t demand favor from society), and in genuine love for our neighbors. Then, whatever our specific calling, we will be directing people back to the one who called us.